top of page


de Boer


Untangling  the

intractable knots of conflict

Business Meeting

Let's talk about conflict

Conflict, whether in business or personal, locks us into feelings of rage, fear and defeat.

It saps our energy and pulls us into a trap of frustration and vulnerability.


As the conflict escalates, solutions narrow.


It closes down our ability to see options. 

We reach an impasse.


The deeper we identify with the conflict the more layers of reactions we experience. Some are crucial to the resolution. Some are not. Together they get fused into a reactive whole.

If this sounds familiar, I can help.


About Bess

Hi, I'm Bess de Boer.  I help people and companies resolve immovable conflict that cripples relationships, business, and often their life.

Behind every conflict, from boardrooms to bedrooms, hides a human story.

If we are to truly resolve conflict - beyond simply redistributing the spoils - we need to recognize that it has an inner life – a story that lies underneath its surface.

You can’t solve conflict without understanding what drives it.

Helping parties understand the human reality beneath each side of the conflict is where I begin.


After years as a litigator, negotiator and conflict resolution specialist, what I have come to know for sure is this:

My Process

An Unconventional Approach

I resolve conflict through an unconventional process that paves roads to win-win solutions, by putting the human element at the centre of the stage. 

Central to this process is a collaborative environment that gives the parties to the conflict control of their dispute, and facilitates understanding of what's important to each side, beneath the surface level of the conflict.

Business Meeting
Working Together

This model offers people a way to work together to make decisions that resolve their dispute.


Parties are empowered through a unique process that allows them to maintain 

responsibility for the way their dispute is resolved.

Dictionary showing the word 'Understand'

The power of understanding 

rather than the power of coercion or persuasion drives the process.

What Lies Under

Together we uncover what lies underneath each party's experience of the conflict, in order to build customized solutions to resolve it.

From _ to !.jpg
Begin with Why

Together we ask why, examining and questioning positions to get to the root of what matters most.

3 Keys to Agreement

Together we unlock the doors of conflict with 3 transformative keys :

  1. Change perspective

  2. Listen

  3. Reframe



"Bess unravels layers of preconceptions people bring to their disputes, in order to facilitate an understanding of the true issues from which conflict resolution takes root. Her knowledge and intuitiveness, as well as a razor sharp focus on exploring all aspects of the conflict, create a unique opportunity for resolution not seen in traditional mediation."

Dr. Aliki Iordanidis



Social network theme hologram over hands

Helping you design winning strategies for negotiation and conflict management

Business People Analyzing Statistics Fin

Third party mediation services for business and private disputes


Tailored talks that shift mindsets and inspire action to pave roads to ’yes’


Contact Me

Are you looking for roads through unmovable conflict and curious about how working with me will help?

Let's Connect!

Exploratory calls with me to discuss your unique situation are always complimentary.

Please call + 1 (416) 878-9595 or use the form below to contact me

Thanks for submitting!

bottom of page